Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
