I wish life had little blips of pornography
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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