But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
