i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i think i just lost a toe
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
