Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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