i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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