I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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