we have officially lost it.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
