You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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