Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize