Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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