Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
