it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
