You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
