My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
