YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
