where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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