lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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