All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
