i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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