Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
