her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Randomize
