Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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