I will die if light touches me.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
