oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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