Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
