Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
