I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize
