She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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