Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
