Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
