JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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