Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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