your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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