wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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