every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
