I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
