I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
