I cockslap morals
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
