mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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