You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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