drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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