It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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