We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
