that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
