i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
