She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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