The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
