Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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