Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
