That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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