oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
