Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
