Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
