First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize