Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
