so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
