I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
