he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
