Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
